Are you a New Yorker? Here is how to know it

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Even though I wasn’t born in NYC, sometimes I consider myself a New Yorker, lots of people do. Not that I’m proud of it, I’m actually Brazilian, but when I look at this list made by Time Out I feel like I’ve became one. Not sure if it’s good or not, but I got 46 things out of 50. Oops. Here is the list. Tell me what do you think and if you consider yourself from somewhere else other the place you were born. Xx

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1.You fold your pizza before you eat it (probably while walking down the street).
2. You can correctly pronounce “Greenwich.”
3. You have confidently given directions to a tourist.
4. You have confidently given directions to a tourist that you completely made up.
5. You’ve been hassled by a squeegee man.
6. You’ve run into that suspiciously empty subway car right as the doors were closing, then agonizingly held your breath until you could escape at the next stop.
7. Your negative opinion of slow walkers is a rage that burns like a thousand suns.
8. You’ve bragged that you saw some New York band way back when (“I saw the Strokes at the Mercury Lounge back in 2000, before the Modern Age EP came out!”)
9. You’ve had the same bodega sandwich for dinner three nights in a row.
10. You can have rats running inches past your feet on the subway and you don’t even notice.                                                                                                       11.You’ve spent more time drinking on rooftops in NYC than you have all the other places you’ve been combined.
12. You understand that the smell of Canal Street station is just the fish market in China Town above you.
13. You know exactly where the subway doors open, and on which side of the car, at your destination.
14. You have a New York Public Library card.
15. You jaywalk as a matter of course.
16. You’ve fallen asleep on the subway and ended up in Flushing/Pelham Bay Park/Coney Island/somewhere else that isn’t even in your borough.
17. You’ve seriously wondered whether alternative side of the street parking is even constitutional.
18. You’ve been to Roosevelt Island…but only by accident and for a second, because you forgot to get off the F at 63rd and Lex.
19. You’ve traded (and one-upped) “Back in the day…” old New York stories with fellow native New Yorkers. “Oh, yeah? You used to sled in Central Park? I remember sledding in Bliss Park in the 70s after tearing car hoods off and using them as toboggans.”
20. You can correctly pronounce “Houston.”                                                                                                                                                                                         21.You’ve stepped confidently off a curb in winter only to plunge shin-deep into filthy, black, freezing slush.
22. You know your neighborhood borders.
23. You know which dirty-looking bodegas are secretly awesome and which are just…dirty.
24. You’ve heard a subway announcement that sounds about as intelligible as Charlie Brown’s teachers and somehow completely understood it.
25. You’ve cried in public.
26. You’ve people-watched with the skill of a ninja and the dark sunglasses of a CIA agent.
27. You’ve corrected Chicagoans when they refer to their pizza as “pizza,” when it is in fact a “marinara casserole on toast”.
28. You own a solid portion of all-black clothing.
29. You have spent more time planning a brunch than you did/will your own wedding.
30. You know how to weave expertly between large, slow groups of tourists without even breaking pace, all while sighing audibly at that nice German family walking five abreast down Broadway.                                                                                                                                                                  31.You can spot whether a subway rider is a local or a tourist just by their body language (or the way they fall over).
32. You’ve walked into a store in beautiful sunshine, then stepped out 15 minutes later into a rainstorm of biblical proportions.
33. You have the perfect airport route down to an art.
34. You have a pet cat. It lives at the corner bodega because free pets are the best pets and who has time to walk a dog in this city anyway?
35. You avoid the two-seater spots on the ends of trains because you know they’re practically reserved for homeless people. (It doesn’t matter how many times it’s been cleaned, at some point that seat was a pool of piss.)
36. You understand that black cars are not actually cheaper than cabs, don’t take cards and aren’t always even legal.
37. You’ve seen a really big celebrity on the street and barely even blinked.
38. You know how to perfectly swipe your Metro card and go through the turnstile in one graceful, fluid motion.
39. You have witnessed several full gentrification cycles—from industrial wasteland to cool, arty enclave to commercialized hipster hamlet.
40. You’ve seen a random NYC street corner on TV and yelled out, “I know that corner! That’s 22nd St and 7th avenue!” Or worse, “That’s not really NYC!!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     41.You’ve accidentally tried to go somewhere in Midtown during the lighting of the Rockefeller Christmas tree and proclaimed that Christmas and, indeed, humanity itself shall forever be your sworn nemesis.
42. You’ve sat next to someone on the subway late at night who, for the duration of the ride, has become your absolute best new friend in the whole entire world. You never see them again.
43. You long ago stopped thinking of “fuck” as a curse and more of a socially acceptable interjection.
44. You can tell the difference between a hipster in a fanny pack and a tourist in a fanny pack.
45. You know where to buy cigarettes at a “discount” out of a box in a bodega somewhere.
46. You don’t bat an eyelid when you walk past a superhero, Darth Vader, the Naked Cowboy, Woody Allen or just your friendly neighborhood drag queen.
47. You’ve snorted derisively at your cab driver’s GPS and told him the fastest route to your destination with military precision.
48. You’ve had the experience of feeling awesome because you’re so much more of a New Yorker than someone else (“You’ve only been here five years??”), then felt terrible because you’re so much less of a New Yorker than the next person (“Oh, you grew up in Bay Ridge? I’m from Long Island.”)
49. You’re able to authoritatively complain, at least once every two blocks, about the demise of the much cooler club/store/restaurant that used to be there.
50. You finally realize that doing things like going to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building do not make you less of a New Yorker just because they’re things tourists enjoy.

 

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(photos: info: time out)

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